“Do I attract you?
Do I repulse you with my queasy smile?
Am I too dirty?
Am I too flirty?
Do I like what you like?”
I could be wholesome,
I could be loathsome,
I guess I’m a little bit shy
Why don’t you like me?
Why don’t you like me without making me try?
Costco CEO Craig Jelinek supports raising the minimum wage.
Costco announced record profits today, averaging $10,000 in profit per employee compared to $7,400 at Walmart.
The secret to Costco’s success is paying employees well, providing benefits, and giving them an opportunity to unionize.
So large corporations’ excuses that treating & paying workers well would damage profits are all a crock of shit.
And because of this man, we as Walmart workers will be pushed harder and harder to keep up. We will be demanded to do twice the work on half the hours and Costco employees will scoff at us and tell us that we don’t work as hard as they do because we can barely afford to cover our rent.
We do not unionize because the process of getting one would kill hundreds of thousands of jobs. And the American public would call us demanding and selfish and side with the wealthy shareholders. Yet, if we do not unionize we will mocked and scoffed at by the American people who will call us brain less and unAmerican.
Thanks for continuing to maintain that Walmart workers have no control. Fuck you very much, Mr Costco CEO.
Out of curiosity, why would unionising kill jobs? I agree that the American public would call you demanding and selfish most likely, because that’s how quite a few Americans see unions (in my experience), but I’m wondering why it would kill jobs.
I’m not trying to argue, don’t get me wrong! I’m just curious.
Walmart has stated that they will fire employees trying to form unions. If 51% of a store agrees to form a union, the whole store, excluding salaried management, is fired immediately. The same rules apply if we strike.
A woman’s worst nightmare? That’s pretty easy. Novelist Margaret Atwood writes that when she asked a male friend why men feel threatened by women, he answered, “They are afraid women will laugh at them.” When she asked a group of women why they feel threatened by men, they said, “We’re afraid of being killed.
That sums it up
[trigger warning for the commentary below]
This reminds me of a discussion we had in school, and one girl was talking about living in fear of her safety because she is a girl, and this guy chimed in and was all “It’s hard for guys too! I’m so awkward around girls! It’s embarrassing!” Yeah, not the same thing, exactly?
This reminds me of an article about online (heterosexual) dating that I read a while ago. It listed men’s and women’s worst fears about meeting someone from online. The highest ranked fear that men had was that their date would be fat, whereas the highest ranked fear that women had was that their date would turn out to be violent and kill them.
I think that says a lot.
Its interesting also that these fears sit subconsciously until woman are asked to exams their responses to men. We women will operate with this fear in mind, the way we protect ourselves, make sure our friends know where we are when we go on a date, words that we use while interacting with men, all in hopes they will not kill us, but simultaneously love us.
I think bell hooks made a point about this in her series on love. something along the lines of how can women hope to love and receive love from men when at the foundation of our relationships there is this strong fear of men. you can’t build true trust when your foundation is crumbling under you.
the scariest part is, once you recognize this fear, and face it, how do you address it when there is evidence of “good” men abusing, hurting, and killing women everyday?
I was in my early 20’s when one of my homegirls broke this down for me.
I was in a broken relationship, and one of the things was that bugged me at the time was that the girlfriend at the time would freak out whenever I got angry - I never yelled, never throw or hit things, mostly, I just needed some time to cool out.
“Why does she get scared when I’m angry? I’d never hit her!”
“But she doesn’t KNOW that. She can’t assume that. Look at how many dudes are out there pulling shit.”
And that stuck with me for a hot minute. The relationship was broken on so many levels anyway, but that fact still remains, as a man, I can’t fault women for assuming the worst in order to protect themselves, especially how the world’s patriarchy and misogyny rolls.
My brain knows that my husband won’t hit me. Really, the logical part of me totally gets that. But when we’re arguing he has to stay on the other side of the room & not yell too loud because my fight or flight instincts have 25+ years of being hard wired that loud = violent & our 11 year relationship isn’t long enough to undo that.
I’ve had continual discussions with Tchy about this, and I don’t expect to stop. It’s fair to say that there’s no one in the world that I trust more, and he has been extremely careful with me, but… the fact remains that he leans quite a bit towards the masculine, and this means that that fear is always there. The news of transmasculine folks abusing/raping people doesn’t help that fear any. :(
I’m learning not to apologize for it. It’s not my fault (nor, really, is it his) that I’m scared of dude-type people. But it’s always there. Which is another reason why I get so pissed off when trans men try to make transmisogyny about them.
men, read all of this please. including the commentary. esp if you consider yourself a Nice Guy.
This is an incredible thread of responses. I’ve seen this quote before, but not the dialogue that built up around it. The part about loud=violent hits home particularly hard for me. I am terrified of getting into irl arguments with men, especially when they get loud. It’s always going to sit in the pit of my stomach.
That part resonates for me too, although from a completely different angle. Despite being more terrified of sexual violence than I am of anything other than my own brain, I do not hesitate to yell, confront, get up in the face of, threaten, even hit men twice my size and many times my strength. Faced with a threat of violence from men, I will either imply or state “I dare you to.”
I also, as previously established on this blog, have a death wish.
To me, that encapsulates everything about the violence, especially sexual violence, coded into relationships between men and women in our society: for a woman to assert herself in the face of maleness may require the woman in question (such as me) to be perpetually suicidal.
Reblogging for commentary. I have been frightened and scared by men being loud with me, even if I don’t think they’ll be violent. Like people have said above, it’s just a latent response in your brain to fear violence from men.
I went out to dinner with someone a couple of weeks ago (LONG story, was supposed to be a group dinner but it ended up just being me & a strange man) and I told him I blogged about feminism and politics, and he went off on me. He told me feelings were bullshit and women just wanted special privileges, and then he said, “Women don’t give men enough credit for not being violent psychopaths. That’s what we are, deep down. We want to rape and pillage, and we don’t, and women don’t give us enough credit for that.” I burst into tears. That shit was terrifying.
I’ll always reblog this when it comes across my blog with different commentary! It’s all important!
I referenced this quote in a discussion I was having with a teacher a few weeks ago. He shifted uncomfortably and didn’t say anything for a few minutes, then told me “I couldn’t write like that in an essay.”
The truth hurts, huh.
14K and I are twins because I will not hesitate to answer a physical threat from a man. It’s a built-in response from years of watching my mother get hurt that I WOULD NOT go down so gently.
And even with non-physical responses. I don’t let anyone in, I don’t lean on anyone, I don’t trust anyone because damnit I will not let myself go through what she did. And I’m definitely a “I’ll hurt you before you hurt me” kinda person.
Therapy’s making it better, but these ingrained fight or flight defensive mechanism aren’t uncommon.
I too am reblogging this for the amazing commentary.
When supposed feminist ally men deny this very basic, simple truth - that’s how you know they are an ally to no one.
This all gets taught to women at a very young age, how dangerous the world is when you’re in it being a woman. I’ve been struggling to write about something that happened with my daughter a few weeks ago, how to form the words, but this is possibly the best context.
We were in the wine shop, in line to pay, and she was so excited to get her lollipop (in the time honored tradition of wine stores everywhere). A man two people ahead of us started fighting with the woman behind the counter about how much money he’d given her. As I was moving her behind my body, my daughter froze, and when I say froze, I mean wasn’t moving a muscle except to shake.
It sorted itself out pretty quickly. We paid and left.
Once we got back into the car, she started crying. I asked her what was the matter, and she said, “Mama, I was so scared. When men get angry they shoot people.”
That’s a direct quote. When men get angry, they shoot people.
I asked her, “baby, why do you think that?” She replied, “on NPR, that’s what happens. When men get really mad they kill people. That guy was really mad, what if he had a gun? What would you do?”
The talk we had afterwards was difficult; no one said parenting was easy. But this is the life we live as women. If my 9 year old understands it, then men of the world, alleged feminist allies, Nice Guys, random douches on the street, and even actual non-dangerous men: so can you.
I cant take men posturing me. Or getting loud with me. Fight or flight kicks in. And, like karny, ima be as far away as possible while talking if im feelin some kinna way. I have every reason to respond that way. We all do. Its the norm for us to incur the wrath of men. (via bad-dominicana)
This is why, no matter how much I love my husband, or how well I know my friends, I still panic when we have an argument. I don’t want to feel that way, I want to feel safe and unafraid.
This post and its commentary is most important for everyone to see. I burst into tears reading this because now I realize it’s not a problem I have, but a problem that we have. If strangers are being loud or threatening, I tend to try and be invisible and ignore it. When it is not possible, then I get bold in my responses, sometimes even verbally aggressive. But it’s all because deep down I’m terrified, I’m just even more scared that they would see that. That they would know. Because I have this deep conviction that if they did that would be the end of it.
I’m sort of remembering when I first realised this fear. Honestly, I’m so clueless and all my life I always hung out with boys and all the men in my family were kind of clueless and always second in command to the women. When I got older it didn’t really register that they were threats, they were just the well meaning, harmless idiots I grew up with. I forgot the exact context but I think I was talking about going into the city late at night or something. All I know is I clearly remember my dad actually teared up, crying a bit and said “I don’t want anything to happen to you. I don’t want your last memories on earth to be some guy’s breath on your ear and his hands on your throat.” Seeing my dad, who’s normally a goofy lighthearted guy get that serious enough to cry a little really impacted me. This was a very real thing, it’s not just stuff you hear in the news and this wasn’t childhood anymore where I could punch and kick my male friends if they punched me first. Needless to say I’m very aware and careful now.
The Best of Sweden - “Swedish Smörgåsbord” (x)
… good luck assembling all the parts!
A Brief Summary of Eurovision 2013
- Finland: GAY WEDDING WOOOOO
- Moldova: wtf is that dress
- Malta: *smiles and rainbows and happiness*
- Belgium: *stares into your soul*
- Romania: FABULOUS GAY DRACULA
- Greece: *appears out of nowhere and steals the show* ALCOHOL IS FREE MOTHERFUCKERS